Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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