Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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