Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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