I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
