Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize