You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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