I cockslap morals
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
