Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
