he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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