Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
