so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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