i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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