Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
