Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
