oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
