she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize