I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
