If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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