I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
