Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
