It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
