I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
