she was so not down for the gang bang
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
