Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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