So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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