i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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