Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize