okay pat passed out under dana's car
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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