after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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