so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
