He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Pooping to opera.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
