I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
