Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
