The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
