I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's intense
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
