my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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