I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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