sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think my nap took me to another dimension
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
