Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
