either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
