The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
