I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
