you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
