the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
