so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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