My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i dont even know how to be here
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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