i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
