I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
