I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
