Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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