i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
