She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize