If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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