Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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