I need help removing her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Randomize
