At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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