You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
