I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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