I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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