Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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